我希望自己知道的 103 条建议 - 凯文 · 凯利

每年凯文凯利都会总结一个经验清单，今年也不例外，在他 70 岁生日，他写下了 103 条建议，读完受益匪浅，做了一个简单的翻译，不当的地方请点击下方的链接查看英文原版。

From: The Technium - KK

大约 99% 的时间，正确的时间是现在。
没有人像你一样对你的财产印象深刻。
永远不要为你不想成为的人工作。
培养 12 个爱你的人，因为他们价值超过 1200 万喜欢你的人。
不要一直犯同样的错误；试着犯新的错误。
如果你停下来听音乐家或街头表演者超过一分钟，你就欠他们一美元。
“但是”一词之前说的任何话都不重要。
当你原谅别人时，他们可能不会注意到，但你会痊愈的。宽恕不是我们为他人做的事；它是给自己的礼物。
礼貌不花钱。使用后放下马桶座圈。在你进电梯之前，让里面的人先离开。把购物车放回指定区域。借来的东西，还回去时候它的形状（装满，清理）比你拿到时更好。
每当双方发生争执时，请找到第三方。
效率被高度高估；愚蠢被高度低估。定期安排的安息日、休假、假期、休息、漫无目的的散步和休假对任何类型的顶级表现都至关重要。最好的职业道德需要良好的休息道德。
当你成为领导者时，你的真正工作是创造更多领导者，而不是更多的跟随者。
私下批评，公开赞扬。
生活的教训将按需要的顺序呈现给你。掌握教训所需的一切都在你内心。一旦你真正吸取了教训，你将获得下一个教训。如果你还活着，这意味着你还有教训要学。
学生有责任从老师那里得到一切，老师有责任从学生那里得到一切。
如果获胜在游戏中变得太重要，请更改规则使其更有趣。改变规则可以让它成为新的游戏。
向投资人要钱，他们会给你建议；但征求建议，他们会给你钱。
生产力往往会分散注意力。不要以尽快完成任务的好方法为目标，以让你永远不想停下来的更好的任务为目标。
立即支付您欠供应商、工人、承包商的款项。下次他们会不遗余力地先和你一起工作。
我们告诉自己的最大的谎言是“我不需要把这个写下来，因为我会记住它。”
作为一个有意识的人，你的成长由你愿意进行的不舒服对话数量来衡量。
自信地说话，就像你是对的一样，但要仔细倾听，就好像你是错的一样。
方便的测量：在肩膀水平上伸展手臂的指尖之间的距离是你的身高。
努力（锻炼、陪伴、工作）的一致性比数量更重要。没有什么能生活每天完成的一些小事，这比偶尔才做的事情重要得多。
做艺术不是自私的，它是为我们其他人服务的。如果你不做你的事，就是在欺骗我们。
永远不要询问女性是否怀孕。让她来决定是否告诉你。
你需要的三件事：有能力不放弃一些东西直到它成功，有能力放弃一些不起作用的东西，以及相信他人来帮助你区分两者的区别。
在公开演讲时，请经常暂停。在你以新的方式说话之前暂停，在说了一些你认为重要的事情后暂停，然后停下来作为缓和，让听众吸收细节。
没有“准时”这种事情。你要么迟到了，要么早到了。请自行选择。
问问任何你钦佩的人：他们的幸运突破发生在主目标的弯路上。所以拥抱弯路。生活对任何人来说都不是一条直线。
在互联网上获得正确答案的最佳方法是发布明显错误的答案，并等待有人纠正你。
鼓励好的行为而不是惩罚不好的行为，你将获得 10 倍更好的结果，特别是面对儿童和动物的时候。
雕琢电子邮件的标题和消息本身时间应该一样多，因为标题通常是人们唯一会阅读的东西。
不要等待暴风雨过去；在雨中跳舞。
在查看求职推荐信时，雇主可能不愿意或被禁止说任何负面的话，所以留言或发送消息给对方，上面写着：“如果这位求职者超级棒，您强烈推荐，请回复我。”如果他们不回复，就可以认为这是负面的。
使用密码管理器：更安全、更简单、更好。
接受教育获得的一半技能是了解什么东西是你可以忽略的。
一个荒谬的雄心勃勃的目标的优势在于，它设定了很高的标准，即使在失败的情况下，以普通人的标准去衡量，它也可能是成功的。
了解自己的一个好方法是认真思考别人身上让你恼火的一切事情。
将所有物品都放在酒店房间里你能看到的地方，而不是抽屉里，并集中在一个地方。这样你就不会落下任何东西。如果你需要在旁边放一些像充电器之类的东西，在它旁边放一些其他大物品，比起一件物品，你不太可能落下三件物品。
拒绝或回避赞美是不礼貌的。感激地接受它，即使你认为它不值得。
始终阅读纪念碑旁边的牌匾。
当你取得一些成功时，“冒名顶替”的感觉可能是真实的。我在愚弄谁？但是，当你创造了只有你——凭借你独特的才能和经验——才能做到的东西时，你绝对不是一个冒名顶替者。这是天注定的。你有责任做只有你才能做的事情。
你在糟糕的日子里会做什么比你在好的日子做什么更重要。
制作对人们有好处的东西。
当你打开油漆时，哪怕是一点点，无论你多么小心，它总能找到你衣服。所以穿恰当的衣服。
为了让孩子们在汽车公路旅行中注意自己的行为，带上一袋他们最喜欢的糖果，每次他们行为不端时都会把一块扔出窗外。
你不能让聪明人仅仅为了钱而努力工作。
当您不知道为特定任务支付某人多少钱时，请问他们“多少钱”，他们的答案通常就是合理的。
90% 的东西都是垃圾。如果你认为你不喜欢歌剧、浪漫小说、抖音、乡村音乐、素食、NFT 等等，继续尝试能否找到剩下 10% 不是垃圾的东西。
You will be judged on how well you treat those who can do nothing for you.
我们倾向于高估我们在一天内能做的事情，而低估了我们在十年内可以取得的成就。如果给你十年时间，奇迹是可以完成的。长期的比赛中，微小收益的复利甚至能战胜大的错误。
感谢一位改变了你人生的老师。
You cant reason someone out of a notion that they didn’t reason themselves into.
你最好的工作将是一份你没有资格的工作，因为它会让你全力以赴。事实上，只申请你没有资格的工作。
购买二手书，它们有和新书一样的内容。图书馆里的书也是如此。
你可以做任何你想做的事情，所以做那个提前结束会议的人。
一位智者说：“在你开口之前，让你的话穿过三扇门。在第一扇门，问问自己：“是真的吗？”在第二个门口问：“有必要吗？”在第三扇门问：“要说的话友好吗？”
爬楼梯。
由于设置、学习、维护、维修和处置一件事物需要精力、时间和金钱，你实际支付的至少两倍于列出来的价格。并非所有价格都会出现在标签上。实际成本是价格乘以二。
到达酒店房间时，寻找紧急出口。这只需要多花一分钟。
回答“我现在应该做什么？”的唯一有效方法是首先问问自己“我应该成为谁？”。
Average returns sustained over an above-average period of time yield extraordinary results. Buy and hold.
对粗鲁的陌生人非常有礼貌是令人兴奋的。
一个不太聪明但善于沟通的人，可能比一个聪明但不善于沟通人做得更好。这是个好消息，因为提高沟通技巧比提高智力容易得多。
Getting cheated occasionally is the small price for trusting the best of everyone, because when you trust the best in others, they generally treat you best.
Art is whatever you can get away with.
培养孩子想要取得最佳效果，只需要花一半你认为应该花的钱，但是付出两倍的陪伴他们的时间。
购买你家乡或所在地区最新的旅游指南。每年游玩一次，你会学到很多东西。
不要排队等候吃一些有名的食物。很少有真的值得等待的。
想快速揭示刚刚遇到的人的真实性格，请将他们转移到一个网速非常缓慢的环境里。然后观察。
流行成功的处方：做一些奇怪的事情。让你的怪异成为一种习惯。
专业精神就是备份你的备份。至少要有一个物理备份和一个云备份。然后再加倍备份。如果丢失了所有数据、照片、笔记，你会支付多少钱来恢复它们？与遗憾相比，备份更便宜。
不要相信你认为你相信的一切。
要发出紧急信号，请使用三声规则；3 声喊叫，3 次喇叭声或者吹 3 声口哨。
在点餐的时候，你是点已知很棒的东西，还是尝试新的东西？你会做已知的卖得出去的东西还是尝试新的东西？你会和新朋友见面，还是继续和已经认识的人见面？发现新事物，探索新事物与利用它们的最佳平衡是：1/3。将 1/3 的时间用于探索，2/3 的时间用于深化。随着年龄的增长，花时间探索将变得更加困难，因为它似乎没有成效，但目标仍然是 1/3。
真正的好机不会在主题行就写着“好机会”。
当被介绍给某人时，进行眼神交流，然后默数到 4。你们会互相记得双方。
如果你发现自己想知道“我的好刀在哪里？或者，我的好钢笔在哪里？”这意味着已经拥有坏的那个。扔掉那些。
当你陷入困境时，向他人解释你的问题。通常，简单地提出一个问题会带来解决方案。将“解释问题”作为故障诊断流程的一部分。
购买花园软管、延长线或梯子时，买比你预想的更长一些的。那将是正确的尺寸。
不要费心与旧事物作战；创造新的事物。
你的团队只需展示赞赏过它的人，就可以实现超出能力的伟大事情。
当有人告诉你人类历史的高峰年，在事情走下坡之前事情好转的时期时，那永远是他们 10 岁的那几年——这是任何人类存在的巅峰。
你和那些能让你愤怒的东西一样大。
与观众交谈时，最好将目光凝视在几个人身上，而不是将目光分散在房间里。你的眼睛会告诉别人你是不是真的相信你自己所说的。
习惯远比灵感更可靠。通过养成习惯来取得进展。不要专注于保持身材。专注于成为那种从不错过锻炼的人。
谈判时，不要瞄准一个更大的馅饼；瞄准创造一个更大的馅饼。
如果你再重复你今天所做的 365 天，明年你会成为你想成为的人吗？
You see only 2% of another person, and they see only 2% of you. Attune yourselves to the hidden 98%.
你的时间和空间是有限的。拿走、赠送以及扔掉生活中不再产生快乐的东西，以便为那些能激起快乐的东西腾出空间。
我们的后代将实现令我们惊讶的事情，但如果我们足够有想象力，他们将创造的部分东西，可以由今天的材料和工具制作而成。Think Bigger。
为了获得丰厚的回报，请特别好奇那些你不感兴趣的事情。
关注方向，而不是目的地。谁能知道自己的命运？但保持正确的方向，你就会到达你想去的地方。
每次突破一开始都是可笑和荒谬的。事实上，如果它一开始没有可笑和荒谬，那就不是突破。
If you loan someone $20 and you never see them again because they are avoiding paying you back, that makes it worth $20.
拷贝他人是一个很好的开始方式。模仿自己是一种令人失望的结束方式。
谈判新工作薪水的最佳时机是在他们说想要你之后的那一刻，而不是之前。然后，谈判就会变成一个先说金额的懦夫博弈，但让他们先给出一个数字对你更有利。
与其引导你的生活来避免意想不到的事物，不如直接瞄准它们。
如果你使用信用卡租车，请不要购买额外的保险。
如果你对一个问题的观点可以从你对另一个问题的观点中预测出来，你可能被一种意识形态所控制。当你真正为自己思考时，你的结论将无法被预测。
以死后破产为目标。在你死前捐给你的受益人；这更有趣，更有用。花光所有的钱。你的最后一张支票应该交给殡仪馆，而且应该跳票。
防止变老的主要方法是保持惊奇。

Original article

About 99% of the time, the right time is right now.
No one is as impressed with your possessions as you are.
Dont ever work for someone you dont want to become.
Cultivate 12 people who love you, because they are worth more than 12 million people who like you.
Dont keep making the same mistakes; try to make new mistakes.
If you stop to listen to a musician or street performer for more than a minute, you owe them a dollar.
Anything you say before the word “but” does not count.
When you forgive others, they may not notice, but you will heal. Forgiveness is not something we do for others; it is a gift to ourselves.
Courtesy costs nothing. Lower the toilet seat after use. Let the people in the elevator exit before you enter. Return shopping carts to their designated areas. When you borrow something, return it better shape (filled up, cleaned) than when you got it.
Whenever there is an argument between two sides, find the third side.
Efficiency is highly overrated; Goofing off is highly underrated. Regularly scheduled sabbaths, sabbaticals, vacations, breaks, aimless walks and time off are essential for top performance of any kind. The best work ethic requires a good rest ethic.
When you lead, your real job is to create more leaders, not more followers.
Criticize in private, praise in public.
Life lessons will be presented to you in the order they are needed. Everything you need to master the lesson is within you. Once you have truly learned a lesson, you will be presented with the next one. If you are alive, that means you still have lessons to learn.
It is the duty of a student to get everything out of a teacher, and the duty of a teacher to get everything out of a student.
If winning becomes too important in a game, change the rules to make it more fun. Changing rules can become the new game.
Ask funders for money, and they’ll give you advice; but ask for advice and they’ll give you money.
Productivity is often a distraction. Don’t aim for better ways to get through your tasks as quickly as possible, rather aim for better tasks that you never want to stop doing.
Immediately pay what you owe to vendors, workers, contractors. They will go out of their way to work with you first next time.
The biggest lie we tell ourselves is “I dont need to write this down because I will remember it.”
Your growth as a conscious being is measured by the number of uncomfortable conversations you are willing to have.
Speak confidently as if you are right, but listen carefully as if you are wrong.
Handy measure: the distance between your fingertips of your outstretched arms at shoulder level is your height.
The consistency of your endeavors (exercise, companionship, work) is more important than the quantity. Nothing beats small things done every day, which is way more important than what you do occasionally.
Making art is not selfish; it’s for the rest of us. If you don’t do your thing, you are cheating us.
Never ask a woman if she is pregnant. Let her tell you if she is.
Three things you need: The ability to not give up something till it works, the ability to give up something that does not work, and the trust in other people to help you distinguish between the two.
When public speaking, pause frequently. Pause before you say something in a new way, pause after you have said something you believe is important, and pause as a relief to let listeners absorb details.
There is no such thing as being “on time.” You are either late or you are early. Your choice.
Ask anyone you admire: Their lucky breaks happened on a detour from their main goal. So embrace detours. Life is not a straight line for anyone.
The best way to get a correct answer on the internet is to post an obviously wrong answer and wait for someone to correct you.
You’ll get 10x better results by elevating good behavior rather than punishing bad behavior, especially in children and animals.
Spend as much time crafting the subject line of an email as the message itself because the subject line is often the only thing people read.
Don’t wait for the storm to pass; dance in the rain.
When checking references for a job applicant, employers may be reluctant or prohibited from saying anything negative, so leave or send a message that says, “Get back to me if you highly recommend this applicant as super great.” If they don’t reply take that as a negative.
Use a password manager: Safer, easier, better.
Half the skill of being educated is learning what you can ignore.
The advantage of a ridiculously ambitious goal is that it sets the bar very high so even in failure it may be a success measured by the ordinary.
A great way to understand yourself is to seriously reflect on everything you find irritating in others.
Keep all your things visible in a hotel room, not in drawers, and all gathered into one spot. That way you’ll never leave anything behind. If you need to have something like a charger off to the side, place a couple of other large items next to it, because you are less likely to leave 3 items behind than just one.
Denying or deflecting a compliment is rude. Accept it with thanks, even if you believe it is not deserved.
Always read the plaque next to the monument.
When you have some success, the feeling of being an imposter can be real. Who am I fooling? But when you create things that only you — with your unique talents and experience — can do, then you are absolutely not an imposter. You are the ordained. It is your duty to work on things that only you can do.
What you do on your bad days matters more than what you do on your good days.
Make stuff that is good for people to have.
When you open paint, even a tiny bit, it will always find its way to your clothes no matter how careful you are. Dress accordingly.
To keep young kids behaving on a car road trip, have a bag of their favorite candy and throw a piece out the window each time they misbehave.
You cannot get smart people to work extremely hard just for money.
When you don’t know how much to pay someone for a particular task, ask them “what would be fair” and their answer usually is.
90% of everything is crap. If you think you don’t like opera, romance novels, TikTok, country music, vegan food, NFTs, keep trying to see if you can find the 10% that is not crap.
You will be judged on how well you treat those who can do nothing for you.
We tend to overestimate what we can do in a day, and underestimate what we can achieve in a decade. Miraculous things can be accomplished if you give it ten years. A long game will compound small gains to overcome even big mistakes.
Thank a teacher who changed your life.
You cant reason someone out of a notion that they didn’t reason themselves into.
Your best job will be one that you were unqualified for because it stretches you. In fact only apply to jobs you are unqualified for.
Buy used books. They have the same words as the new ones. Also libraries.
You can be whatever you want, so be the person who ends meetings early.
A wise man said, “Before you speak, let your words pass through three gates. At the first gate, ask yourself, “Is it true?” At the second gate ask, “Is it necessary?” At the third gate ask, “Is it kind?”
Take the stairs.
What you actually pay for something is at least twice the listed price because of the energy, time, money needed to set it up, learn, maintain, repair, and dispose of at the end. Not all prices appear on labels. Actual costs are 2x listed prices.
When you arrive at your room in a hotel, locate the emergency exits. It only takes a minute.
The only productive way to answer “what should I do now?” is to first tackle the question of “who should I become?”
Average returns sustained over an above-average period of time yield extraordinary results. Buy and hold.
It’s thrilling to be extremely polite to rude strangers.
It’s possible that a not-so smart person, who can communicate well, can do much better than a super smart person who can’t communicate well. That is good news because it is much easier to improve your communication skills than your intelligence.
Getting cheated occasionally is the small price for trusting the best of everyone, because when you trust the best in others, they generally treat you best.
Art is whatever you can get away with.
For the best results with your children, spend only half the money you think you should, but double the time with them.
Purchase the most recent tourist guidebook to your home town or region. You’ll learn a lot by playing the tourist once a year.
Dont wait in line to eat something famous. It is rarely worth the wait.
To rapidly reveal the true character of a person you just met, move them onto an abysmally slow internet connection. Observe.
Prescription for popular success: do something strange. Make a habit of your weird.
Be a pro. Back up your back up. Have at least one physical backup and one backup in the cloud. Have more than one of each. How much would you pay to retrieve all your data, photos, notes, if you lost them? Backups are cheap compared to regrets.
Dont believe everything you think you believe.
To signal an emergency, use the rule of three; 3 shouts, 3 horn blasts, or 3 whistles.
At a restaurant do you order what you know is great, or do you try something new? Do you make what you know will sell or try something new? Do you keep dating new folks or try to commit to someone you already met? The optimal balance for exploring new things vs exploiting them once found is: 1/3. Spend 1/3 of your time on exploring and 2/3 time on deepening. It is harder to devote time to exploring as you age because it seems unproductive, but aim for 1/3.
Actual great opportunities do not have “Great Opportunities” in the subject line.
When introduced to someone make eye contact and count to 4. You’ll both remember each other.
Take note if you find yourself wondering “Where is my good knife? Or, where is my good pen?” That means you have bad ones. Get rid of those.
When you are stuck, explain your problem to others. Often simply laying out a problem will present a solution. Make “explaining the problem” part of your troubleshooting process.
When buying a garden hose, an extension cord, or a ladder, get one substantially longer than you think you need. It’ll be the right size.
Dont bother fighting the old; just build the new.
Your group can achieve great things way beyond your means simply by showing people that they are appreciated.
When someone tells you about the peak year of human history, the period of time when things were good before things went downhill, it will always be the years of when they were 10 years old — which is the peak of any human’s existence.
You are as big as the things that make you angry.
When speaking to an audience it’s better to fix your gaze on a few people than to “spray” your gaze across the room. Your eyes telegraph to others whether you really believe what you are saying.
Habit is far more dependable than inspiration. Make progress by making habits. Dont focus on getting into shape. Focus on becoming the kind of person who never misses a workout.
When negotiating, dont aim for a bigger piece of the pie; aim to create a bigger pie.
If you repeated what you did today 365 more times will you be where you want to be next year?
You see only 2% of another person, and they see only 2% of you. Attune yourselves to the hidden 98%.
Your time and space are limited. Remove, give away, throw out things in your life that dont spark joy any longer in order to make room for those that do.
Our descendants will achieve things that will amaze us, yet a portion of what they will create could have been made with today’s materials and tools if we had had the imagination. Think bigger.
For a great payoff be especially curious about the things you are not interested in.
Focus on directions rather than destinations. Who knows their destiny? But maintain the right direction and you’ll arrive at where you want to go.
Every breakthrough is at first laughable and ridiculous. In fact if it did not start out laughable and ridiculous, it is not a breakthrough.
If you loan someone $20 and you never see them again because they are avoiding paying you back, that makes it worth $20.
Copying others is a good way to start. Copying yourself is a disappointing way to end.
The best time to negotiate your salary for a new job is the moment AFTER they say they want you, and not before. Then it becomes a game of chicken for each side to name an amount first, but it is to your advantage to get them to give a number before you do.
Rather than steering your life to avoid surprises, aim directly for them.
Dont purchase extra insurance if you are renting a car with a credit card.
If your opinions on one subject can be predicted from your opinions on another, you may be in the grip of an ideology. When you truly think for yourself your conclusions will not be predictable.
Aim to die broke. Give to your beneficiaries before you die; it’s more fun and useful. Spend it all. Your last check should go to the funeral home and it should bounce.
The chief prevention against getting old is to remain astonished.